It’s a Saturday night in Piccadilly Circus in London, my hometown, where I’m enjoying great Sicilian food and wine with old friends. It’s late into the evening when a friend asks me about my work and then starts to talk about his own fitness challenges. I’ve known Ronnie since he was 13 so I know his background well. Back then in the eighties and nineties my toothbrush had more meat on it than he did. Now the story is a little different, Ronnie has packed on the pounds. “Marcus, I’ve got a slow metabolism” Ronnie exclaims. “My eating habits are fine and I exercise but I just can’t seem to shift the
stomach!” I ask him if he’s sure and he’s adamant. Please bear in mind I’ve just witnessed the frutta martorana, buccellato, cannolo siciliano, granita, and cassata siciliana disappear in front of my very eyes in a restaurant where each member of staff treats him like the Prodigal Son of Palermo, so you can see why I’m a tad sceptical.
Ronnie is by no means unique…. Not by a long shot. I could have used a hundred examples. We’ve all been guilty at one time or another but let’s face it, denial does not provide a solution to our problem. All this does is sweep the issue under the carpet and therefor if it’s not part of the solution, it must be part of the problem.
Simple Denial – deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether
Minimisation – admit the fact but deny it’s seriousness
Projection – admit both the fact and seriousness of the fact but deny responsibility by blaming something or somebody else.
When I first meet a potential client I always ask them why I’m there, I ask them what it is they would like me to help them with. This is the most important question because it helps me understand their appraisal of their circumstances.
There’s a difference between the 2 most common answers for a person who lets say obviously needs to loose a lot of weight.
Answer no.1 – Oh I just want to tone up and get fit. Losing weight is not a priority for me but I just want to feel fitter.
Answer no.2 – Marcus I’m overweight, I’ve been overweight for a long time and I’m so tired of it. I don’t feel good about myself, I hate my body, I’m unhappy and I must change.
I guarantee Answer no 2 will have the most success 99% of the time.
Firstly be honest with yourself, then be honest with whoever it is you need help from.
When you talk about your issue, use vivid words, hold nothing back and let whoever know that you’re stuck and you need their help.
Please feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts.